Life Lessons

THINGS I LEARNED GROWING UP IN THE SOUTH:

• If you can get ready and out the door in under 30 minutes, you shouldn't even bother leavin', sugar.
• It's called a "po'boy."
• (Regardless of flavor) It's called a "coke."
• Thou shalt not be seen in public without make-up or with wrinkled clothes.
• There is no excuse for not writing a thank-you note.
• An iron skillet is a must-have in any kitchen.
• College football is a religion and the SEC is God.
• If the forecast calls for snow in any amount, your presence is required at the local supermarket.
• Tornadoes can happen at any time. Keep cold beer in the basement.

THINGS I LEARNED AT COLLEGE IN NEW ENGLAND:

• If you were unfortunate (or stupid) enough to take an 8:30 class, you slept in your sweats and set your alarm for 8:25.
• It's called a "grinder."
• It's called a "pop."
• There is no excuse for rooting for the Yankees.
• Sam Adams is a must-have in any kitchen.
• The Red Sox are a religion, and Curt Schilling is God.
• If the forecast calls for snow in any amount, you yawn and roll over.
• A blizzard can happen at any time. Keep cold beer in the basement. (Or wherever.)

THINGS I HAVE LEARNED LIVING IN SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA:

• Wearing mini-skirts and Uggs is "fashionable." (I HEARTILY DISAGREE.)
• It's called a "sub."
• It's called a "soda."
• There is no excuse for not eating organic food.
• Avocado is a must-have in any kitchen. Also, don't eat the sushi if you live more than 30 minutes from the coast.
• The Chargers are a religion, and Norv is God. (But it seems they'll NEVER make it past the first round of the playoffs.)
• A "marine layer" is COMPLETELY different than "smog." "May Gray" and "June Gloom" are things you'll just have to get over since the other 10 months of the year are beautiful.
• An earthquake can happen at any time. Keep cold beer in a doorway.